When the Interns Are Away


black coffee and a bookI’m stuck over the summer without my right hands.  The kiddies have left and I’m am up to my own to answer these questions posted to the comment section of my blogs.  I warn you, they may not be as witty as I’m able.  I’m holding back funnier stuff for a later date and time.

  • When I initially commented I clicked the “Notify me when new comments are added” checkbox and now each time a comment is added I get three e-mails with the same comment. Is there any way you can remove me from that service? Thanks a lot! fiscoe@gmail.com, xjsghpboepz@gmail.com

  I have looked into this, and no. There isn’t anything on my side to take away this nuisance. Let that be a warning to all of you…

  •  I don’t drop a leave a response, however I looked at a lot of comments on %BLOG_TITLE%. I do have 2 questions for you if you tend not to mind. Is it just me or do some of these remarks appear like they are written by brain dead folks? And, if you are writing at additional online sites, I would like to follow you. Would you post a list of all of all your social pages like your twitter feed, Facebook page or linkedin profile? wcbfcz@gmail.com

I’m glad you spend the time looking through “%BLOG_TITLE%.”  “%BLOG_TITLE%” one of my favorite posts.

Brain dead folks? I think the PC word would be sentenced handicapped. Not knowing where they are coming from, as not everyone here is from New Jersey, I don’t make so many limitations on my praise. A pat on the back is a pat on the back, and a kick in the ass is, well a boost into next Tuesday. I could list all my pages, but the links are on my website http://www.ejeisman.com and right here on the blog site. Look on the navigation bar, you’ll see where you need to go.

  •  Hello! Do you know if they make any plugins to assist with Search Engine Optimization? I’m trying to get my blog to rank for some targeted keywords but I’m not seeing very good gains. If you know of any please share. Appreciate it! wtdcuarva@gmail.com

I have no clue. Oh, wait…

  • Hello Web Admin, I noticed that your On-Page SEO is is missing a few factors, for one you do not use all three H tags in your post, also I notice that you are not using bold or italics properly in your SEO optimization. On-Page SEO means more now than ever since the new Google update: Panda. No longer are backlinks and simply pinging or sending out a RSS feed the key to getting Google PageRank or Alexa Rankings, You now NEED On-Page SEO. So what is good On-Page SEO?First your keyword must appear in the title.Then it must appear in the URL.You have to optimize your keyword and make sure that it has a nice keyword density of 3-5% in your article with relevant LSI (Latent Semantic Indexing). Then you should spread all H1,H2,H3 tags in your article.Your Keyword should appear in your first paragraph and in the last sentence of the page. You should have relevant usage of Bold and italics of your keyword.There should be one internal link to a page on your blog and you should have one image with an alt tag that has your keyword….wait there’s even more Now what if i told you there was a simple WordPress plugin that does all the On-Page SEO, and automatically for you? That’s right AUTOMATICALLY, just watch this 4minute video for more information at. Seo Plugin    ddchnnfc@gmail.com, ibjxujl@gmail.com, rcjldt@gmail.com, sorbxliwf@gmail.com, gejetuwn@gmail.com, dnploafwg@gmail.com, foywtuixkkj@gmail.com, egbanb@gmail.com

 I don’t know if it is any good but there are a bunch of people pushing it.

  • Hi there! This is my first comment here so I just wanted to give a quick shout out and say I really enjoy reading through your articles. Can you suggest any other blogs/websites/forums that deal with the same topics? Thanks! qbtytgrw@gmail.com

Hmm, who would want to write like me?

Do I? Look above any you will see the link for Twitter. I would be honored for you to follow me!

  • Hello would ʏou mind letting me know wÒºich wеbhost you’re using? I’ve loaded your blog in 3 differеոt broԝsers and I must say this Æ„log loads a lot quicker thеn most. Can you reсommend a good hosting proviÉ—er at a reasoÕ¸able price? Kudos, I aÑ€preciate it! warnerives@gmx.de

I don’t know if their price is reasonable but I have my website through Yahoo. I’ve used it for many years and while I’ve been frustrated with it sometimes, it does a decent job for the most part. With the package, I have MySQL and WordPress (for blogs).

  •  My spouse and I absolutely love your blog and find most of your post’s to be exactly I’m looking for. Does one offer guest writers to write content to suit your needs? I wouldn’t mind creating a post or elaborating on a number of the subjects you write regarding here.  Again, awesome web site!   carmenproctor@gmail.com

Thanks for your high praise.  I do welcome guest bloggers, as I did for Karen Cole on 1/25/2013.  If you have something you’d like to talk about, regarding writing or related field, send me an email  ej@ejeisman.com.  I will review the article and if it fits within the parameters I’ve mapped out, I would be happy to post it. 

Thank you all for your comments.

Knife Party with Kittens

audreychilled2I’ve been keeping track of the web traffic on my site.  I have a free program from Yahoo, my site provider, to see statistics and other things pertaining to my web site.  I do all the editing and maintenance to the site since I created it almost two years ago.  I didn’t start keeping constant track of things until March of last year, I’m sure that the traffic back then wasn’t as robust as it is now. I’ve more than doubled the traffic to my website in less than a year.  Right now I’m averaging 137 visitors and 294 page views a day, thanks to my adoring fans and the help of some marketing companies that post links on other websites to draw people to my blogs.  I have a healthy helping of subscribers to my blog, which is nice to know that my writing it not all in vein.

One of the things that WebLog Expert Lite tells me is how users got to my website.  Most are drawn by some unknown means, perhaps they wake up in the night with a vision of my homepage and they magically put in the url and ‘Volia!’ they are speaking French and are taken to one of the most interesting blogs on the web.  And then they click on a link on that site and they wind up on my homepage.  One of the curious things is when visitors come from Google or Bing.  The program tells you what they were searching for that brought them to my page.  Some of them are looking for ‘EJ Eisman’ or sometimes they are looking for ‘how to spoon a girl,’ (because Spoon Girl  the name of one of my books) but this one came up this year and I’m a little confused: “Knife Party with Kittens.”   I have no idea how my link wound up on that Google Search.  I do own a cat.  I may have talked about a party.  How did the Google algorhythm  come up with me, let along someone clicking on my link.  They must have been upset when they got to my website that is prostituting Amazon books on the one side and my own on the same site.  I am disgusted by that phase, knowing that cats don’t have thumbs so they wouldn’t even be able to hold knives, let alone have a party with them.   Although, if they had the ability to hold knives, some shit would go down.   I could see my Audrey gutting me and my girlfriend in our sleep, and then walk way without conscious, and play with a string or a unencumbered small intestine, ripped from by stomach.   Of course she would take the time to lick off all of the blood that now coated her in time to cough up a “people ball.”

In some ways I’m glad Google linked to my site.  Can you imagine what other sites were on that list?  Maybe I’ve saved a cat through my humor, my passion, and my words.  You’re welcome!

Have You Noticed?

It all has a new website look and feel with all the same stuff as it had before but it’s all more inviting.

Enjoy!  Click here!  Click there!

It’s all good.

Web Updates

Trying to update my website. Everytime I change it never seems to update with the code I upload or sometimes it does. I’ve email my webhost (yahoo) but they just gave me a bullshit answer about flushing DNS and my local web cache (didn’t make a difference- I can still see four different versions of my home page [index.php] at once.) Just have some patience on here, it seems to have a web mind of its own.